Mess with it till it's done

This piece began New Years Eve. 

An aside on my current view of that holiday. I barely celebrate it. The last couple years I've been more inclined to do something a bit mellow and be in bed far before the change of year.

That said, this last NYE I was at home and started painting while drinking some Dry Fly Vodka,  http://www.dryflydistilling.com/vodka/ (personal preference)  So I began what was going to be a self portrait. When I stumbled away from it I was digging the direction the thing was going. Then I started to work it some more a couple days later, and I began to hate it. Worked on it again, hated it more. I began messing with it, doing things like sewing together parts of the canvas, beginning to like where this is going. Then one day I took it into the driveway, dumped rubbing alcohol on it and lit it on fire. Surprising to see how hard it is burn a canvas. Now I'm starting to like this one, so what better way to improve it than to encase the canvas in resin. A couple pours later the canvas is in a thin shell of clear resin that has some cool looking holes, rips and tears. Sure it's kind of heavy now, but it looks much better. I'd even say I l like how it turned out.

The moral of the story is when you don't like the direction a piece is going keep pushing it, messing with it until it's good and done.

Scammed and Shafted

A couple weeks ago I got an email from some lady named Carmen Gonzalez, who wanted to buy some paintings she saw on this site.  I'm thinking great, awesome, wow!!!!!  It felt great to have that sort of an affirmation regarding some of my work, and frankly I could really use the cash.  So I let her know the prices of the paintings she mentioned, and she was to get me in contact with a shipping company she was using for their move to England. Cool my stuff was going international. I get the check and my jaw drops at the amount. I thought two things, first wow lot of money, did she think I under priced and was generously upping it for me, second thought was a whoa this isn't right. I let her know I get the payment and she claims the extra was supposed to go to her shipping company, and could I send the extra back.  Sure no problem the money is in my account, and it will still take 5-10 days for my return check to get to England. OK this is where the flags really should have gone off with rockets and loud stuff to warn me of the impending doom. I let her know check is on the way, "check? we need it for the movers can you wire it Western Union?"  Now like I said I thought the funds had cleared into my account, so I go ahead and wire the money. The next day (today) I get a message from the bank, account overdrawn by thousands. WTF!!!! I look up my account, yep, overdrawn. Turns out her check was a really good forged cashier's check from a real and reputable bank. I didn't quite get to work today, since I've spent the day talking with the banks, Western Union, emails to the Attorney General, and fraud organizations, and trying to file with the Seattle Police, who are surprisingly difficult to get hold of.

So there is my long dumb story. But on the silvery lining, she may have fucked me over financially but at least she didn't get away with any of my paintings, also I've learned something about selling from this, and yes most pieces on this site are for sale, email me for pricing and we will figure things out.  But now I know what to look for in scams, and as the 'Joes say, Knowing is Half the Battle.

Diorama

Diorama

Mixed media

2011

This "diorama" is composed of several pieces from unfinished projects that I was about to toss out, a failed hand casting and an acrylic on canvas painting. 

La Foret

La Foret

Oil on Canvas

48x52

2011

Idols

A few years ago a couple folk from Mars Hill Church formed a group called the Artist Reformation Project. They used a studio space in the 619 Western building to show during the first Thursday art walks. Each month was to be a different aspect of the gospel message.  This set of six sculptures were done for the show on idolatry.  The idea is that we, as humans, are worshipers.  If we choose to worship any one or anything other than the creator God of the Bible it is idolatry. Idolatry isn't just some ancient sacrifice on alters to a carved or cast image, but can be as simply as where we expend all our time, energy, and devotion. These things aren't always bad things, usually they are quite good things that just become idols.

Encased in each sculpture are objects representing things that are not truly bad but can become objects of worship that distract us from worshipping God.

Oh, and yes the sculptures are intentionally shaped as dildos. Mainly because the phallic symbol is such an historic shape for a graven image idol.  Also it's kind of amusing.

Marriage

 Inside are brides and grooms and rings.  Sometimes there is such a focus on finding that certain person to spend the rest of your life with.

Religion

Inside are crucifixes and nuns.  Though the symbols are Catholic the idea is that any religious devotion can become more of focus than the one who is supposed to be our devotion. Worshipping the worship over the one who is to be worshipped.

Babies

Inside are babies.  Children are a blessing, not god.

Food

Inside are little plastic foods. Food is necessary for life, but sometimes those things that we need everyday can become an obsession.

Cats and Dogs

Inside are cats and dogs.  Animals are great. The thing is, they are created creatures, not the creator.

Money

Inside are little men and women in business suits and pennies. Business, money, financial security, these are all things that are not evil, but we tend do become so driven to "succeed" that it can overshadow everything else in our lives. 

I'll be the first to admit that pretty much all six of these are areas that I fall into idolatry. That's probably why these were the ones that came to mind to represent.  It's tough to not fall into the trap and think that it's just life and not idolatry. It's the question where am I spending my time, money, devotion, what am I worshipping?

"Self-pitying little whimpers"

Me at Gallery 110
Photo by Chris White

"Self-pitying little whimpers."  This was the summary statement of my review in the Stranger.  I always figured that although they might not of liked it, they at least got my point.

The show was a series of nine paintings looking at how too much self absorbed introspection can be harmful.

Alone

original sketch

"Alone" is about the feeling that someone can feel totally isolated even in a crowded room.  The central figure has two shadows, one for his perspective and one for the truth he is blind towards.

Impossible Standards

Original Sketch

Working Sketch

"Impossible Standards" is how there is a cultural standard for beauty or even normalcy. This is a continually moving target, growing and fading with trends and fads leaving devastated and ruined people who couldn't fit the mold. Truth is no one fits this ideal, and we shouldn't compare ourselves to others to find our own worth or beauty.

Self Sighted

Working Sketch

"Self Sighted" is the natural progression from the "Impossible Standard"  In the figure's eyes he sees himself as this distorted mutant of a man. Too tall, too gaunt in some areas, too fat in other areas, and totally disproportionated.

Butt of the Great Cosmic Joke

My Own Personal Hell

"My Own Personal Hell" was originally meant to be "Butt of the Great Cosmic Joke".  It got to this point and I realized it was done, so I began the cosmic joke again.  They are both continuing the progression of the figure.  Seeing himself as a monster he feels that everyone he sees is laughing at him.  The personal hell is the internalization of his pain.

Torn and Tattered Heart

Original Sketch

"Torn and Tattered Heart" is the representation of the devastation of a soul.  I reevaluated the piece as I was laying this one out and decided to use the imagery from a "Sacred Heart of Christ" card.  As opposed to the Christ who held out his pure heart for the world I showed the figure trying to hide and protect his mangled heart from the world.

Too Tied Up

Working Sketches

This one was a huge struggle for me to represent, and I'm still not too excited with the resulting image. The figure is wrapped in a straight jacket being crushed by a cross. The idea was that there is a perception that Christianity is too oppressive to offer any hope to the terminally depressed.

Final Act

This was the first one of the series I painted, setting the tone and overall imagery for the rest.

New Born

"New Born" is my alternate ending.  The figurative man, letting go of his pain could decide to start over into a bright new day.  Simplistic ending, maybe, but I've found that it really is a matter of just deciding each day.

So yes these are "self pitying little whimpers", but they were quite cathartic for me to do. I had hoped, and still hope, that they could be useful to others as well.

Crowds on canvas

Drones

acrylic on canvas
72x40

2000

Standing in the metro tunnel downtown Seattle during the morning commute, I looked around and saw the crowd around me.  We stood together with lifeless eyes, expressionless faces, waiting to get on a bus to get to our cubicles. This was the inspiration for the crowd paintings.  An earlier painting I had done for some friends also inspired how the crowds woud look. 

Elijah vs Prophets of Baal

acrylic on canvas

1999

The Salmon and the Sheep

acrylic on canvas

10x40

2001

Blinded by Greed

acrylic and coins on canvas

2001

This one was a part of a bigger piece that I had done for a UNICEF benefit show.  I really wasn't happy with the piece when I brought it to the gallery but I had just made the deadline.  After the show ended and I brought this home, and cut it into pieces. The resulting fragments were more successful. 

Commuter

mixed media in wax

2002

Ok, so this isn't a crowd, but it was one of three pieces where the other two were crowds. Unfortunately I didn't get an image of the other two before they were sold at a benefit auction in Denver. 

Rat Trap

acrylic on canvas

2 panels 50x60 each

2001-2002

Crucifixion

mixed media on canvas

38x44

2003-2004

The figures on the crosses are painted plaster. For the crowd I used an image transfer process using the following two photographs. One representing humility and repentance, and the other a prideful fuck-you.